I hate my fucking job.
There I said it. I happen to work in the world of fashion for a large unnamed powerhouse that uses and abuses their ambitious employees until one day that employee looks in the mirror and finds nothing that resembles that once wide eyed fearless world conqueror that used to reside behind that sunless washed out face.
That’s me.
I had hopes and dreams of taking the fashion world by storm and not over night, no quite the contrary. I wanted to put in hard work and climb the ladder of leadership to the top. I thought it might take me a good 15 years but being straight out of college I had the time and the energy to think that was possible without it sucking my soul dry and feeding what was left of it to the capitalistic bitch that is the fashion industry.
Make more for less–it’s a common theme in this line of work; cheaper product with higher prices, sales quotas met only means sales quotas raised, and of course your salary and measly 2% commission after you meet your monthly bookings is but a speck in the eye of the billions it’s worth.
Don’t get me wrong not everything is bad. Once the nasty cattiness wears off towards the new girl you find that you have made friends at the end of the year you have worked there. You like them and greet them with a smile because after all they must be making the same pennies you are. At the end of the day when you look around at these girls you don’t feel like you’re one of them.
That leaves me here.
I am a 24-year-old female college graduate in the work force who hates her job. Anyone with me?
My first thought is that it’s fear.
Yet as soon as I type that dreaded four-letter word I wonder just what the hell I have to be afraid of? That world conqueror I once was wouldn’t and wasn’t afraid of change. I don’t support anyone but myself unless my ovaries have something there not telling me. So then what? What is there to be afraid of?
These thoughts lead me to an even more dreaded word: failure.
And then the heavens part and I remember one of my favorite entrepreneurs Steve Jobs say,
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything-all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important”.
My man Steve Jobs, he could really speak to the common hippie in us all. I feel remarkably better and with a much-needed reminder of our finite time on this planet–I should quit my job. No matter what it pays or doesn’t, the experience I got and the things I learned will not dissipate into the wind because I decided it wasn’t for me. I will take them to the next adventure and by then I will have inhaled enough deep breaths of fresh un-air conditioned air and soaked up enough sun to make up for that year spent bathing in the florescent blubs of my cubicle
This is my confession.
Take it for the résumé builder that it is. Come to New York. Be a rock star.
So what are you going to do now ms fashionista? I’m still going to push that old “americas next top model” idea I’ve been saying from the get.
Haha or maybe something completely different? Something that does not necessarily utilize your stunning looks and killer physical attributes?You definitely have that in you as well.
I might consider the age old question of “what would you do if money was no object” and find the root of your happiness and possibly your new calling. Whatever you choose though, I’m sure you will excel and flourish. Wish you all the best bubbles, peace and love.
Look in the mirror again….
If you have that are anything similar to mine you will see what I see. I let me say this… There is no fear. The ambition we have when we start anything new most commonly then not , sadly, eventually goes away. I see a strong, beautiful woman, who without fear can, and has achieved what some might think is impossible. At such a young age you have not only gained amazing experiences but the wisdom to go with them. How do I know this you may ask!?? I was there these past few years to see it.
Confession: if I were a man I would be so lucky to have you! But for now I am lucky enough to sleep within close proximity to you. That will do for now.. And this is not me coming out as a lesbian on the internet ( I’m not quite ready yet) …
Keep up the confessions, because as I read them I can’t help but chuckle and feel your emotions with every word!!!
Love,
Pinkus, satchel, master
xoxox
No matter the name you love me the same
Well I believe it is time for an adventure, Most definitely time my true friend.
Thank you so much for all of your kind words. This is but a beginning to this journey. I hope you all enjoy my story as much as I enjoy writing it. I only hope it inspires you to do what you love as much as your comments have inspired me. if you have a rant of your own i would love to hear it! Cconfessionbooth@gmail.com
Stay tuned
I found your admission sad, but at the same time, a reality with the times we are now living my dear. As you know, I come from ‘the old school’ way of doing things. Become masterful at what you are capable, excel, make a decent living, enjoy your life while also hopefully inspiring others to follow within your footsteps.
At least that’s what I’ve tried to do during my lifetime of being a ‘picture-taker’, as some people have called it. I do not envy you young people, not now, not with where we have gone as a nation emotionally, and more importantly, politically. Torn apart, misrepresented, misguided, manipulated, the list of adjectives are long, but it all boils down to take advantage of as many as you can to keep yourself afloat. Basically, use people like sponges, then replace the sponges…
What I will say to you is this, you Monica, are a very bright, intelligent young woman. You have the smarts to work around the BS that is out there in the workplace. With that, think about what you, you mind you, would like to do with ‘you’. If that means creating your own workplace, um, I’d say you might consider that as your direction. You have the smarts, the education, certainly the hutzpah to make it happen, so I implore you to consider ‘doing your own thing’.
Yeah, not sure how to go about it, don’t have any money, not sure where to start, yep, I was exactly the same way many, many years ago when I decided I was gonna become a ‘pro photographer’. I had NO clue. Yet, these many years later I can say that my career has been fairly decent, I’ve done some pretty amazing things during my life, in fact, continue to do some even now and hope to do more in the future, so I feel pretty good about the life I’ve led.
For me, you have everything that I feel you need to start your own business and make it a success. Be it fashion, accessories, shoes, whatever it is that stirs your soul, my dear, you, you must make it happen.
I did what you are considering about a decade ago when I left one of the most famous magazines in the world to do my own thing. No more salary, no net, nada. I’ve never regretted it a day since, well, once I found my legs and started running again.
So I wish you all the best my dear. I adore you and only want the best for you too. I look forward to the day you call me and tell me all about your new business, or if it’s just a new job, about that new job that stirs your soul and pays you what you are worth. Hang in, you’ll make it happen, I have faith in you. Take care…